Getting Legal Help for Your Divorce or Custody Case: Questions to Ask Potential Lawyers

Locate a pro-bono attorney for low-cost divorce/custody representation via the American Bar Association
Pro-bono legal work is done free of cost; if the lawsuit is won, the attorney receives a previously set fee.
Many of these programs offer special rates for victims of domestic abuse.


ANCPR Child Support, Visitation and Custody Modification Handbook

The Dao of Divorce, A - Z (Annotated Divorce Law Dictionary)
by Sharyn T. Sooho and Steven L. Fuchs, reproduced with permission on the excellent SPARC site.

A Practical Guide to Taping Phone Calls and In-Person Conversations in the 50 States and DC
Excellent compilation of all the current laws regarding admissible taping of evidence.

Send free anonymous email from this site, or rent an anonymous mailbox

Surf the web anonymously (and download free anonymizer software for PCs) from this site.

Residents of California: Safe-At-Home free mail forwarding program

Supervised Visitation Network
Click on "especially for Parents" on the menu at top: excellent advice & tips. Also offers a very helpful Directory of Supervised Visitation Service Providers.

Get a Digital Telephone Recorder to make personal records of your phone conversations in cases of misunderstood communications. (NOTE: by federal law, all parties must be notified that they are being taped!)

Database of over 10,000 legal forms and worksheets necessary in divorce, custody, etc.

The Divorce Record Keeper
A great book of pre-formatted forms for keeping all the records necessary.

Child Support Calculators
State-by-state details.

Parenting Time Tracker
Free downloadable software; vital for early stages of the custody battle! Uses Microsoft Excel97

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SPARC's Annotated Family Lawyer Recommendations and Pans
Excellent resource!

Listing of recommended attorneys and expert witnesses for the wrongly accused or convicted, especially of child abuse.
Very helful and professionally maintained listings by Clara A. Thomas Boggs
Child Custody Attorney Database
Child Custody Attorney Network: State-by-State and County-by-County database

Find a Father-Friendly Attorney
National Fathers' Resource Center: State-by-State database (free registration required)

Dean Tong
Mr. Tong is a forensic consultant in divorce, child custody and alleged abuse cases nation-wide. He's also a personal survivor of false allegations and an active spokesperson in the non-Borderline community.

Richard A. Warshak, Ph.D.
Dr. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison, 2002, and expert in Parental Alienation Syndrome, offers consultation services in high-conflict custody cases.

The A-Team
"The A-Team is made up of Trial Consultants, Lawyers, Psychologists, Medical Doctors, Private Investigators and others assembled for each individual case as needed to help those wrongly accused of child abuse, domestic violence, date rape, sexual harassment and other crimes that are gender or family related. And we also help on complex child custody cases, and those involving issues of interstate and international jurisdiction questions."

Cowling Investigations, Inc.: False Allegation Defense Specialists
Mississippi-based; service world-wide.

Marc Feldman, M.D.
Leading U.S. researcher of factitious disorders. "I am available to testify as an expert witness in the following areas: psychiatric and medical malpractice, suicide; unexplained medical complaints, malingering, factitious disorder, Munchausen syndrome, and other forms of medical deception and faking, Munchausen syndrome by proxy child abuse, psychopharmacology, forensic psychiatry, and disability assessment."

Psychiatric Expert Witness Services
Arizona-based: expert in BPD; Spanish spoken.

American Coalition for Fathers & Children's Legal Databse
A large collection of precedent cases for your lawyer to use.

FalseAllegations.com
Barbara C. Johnson's large site for false abuse allegation legal support
The site focusses on collecting the most recent legal precedents and relevant cases.
Barbara also offers a cheap fee-based question-answering service

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Guide to Leaving a BP Relationship
Excellent resource, a must-read for anyone planning to exit their BP relationship (their server tends to have troubles, just keep trying)

Love and Loathing: Protecting Your Mental Health and Legal Rights When Your Partner has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Randi Kreger and Kim A. Williams
Excellent resource! Read about and order the book at this link.

PITFALLS WHEN DIVORCING A BPD SPOUSE
Dean Tong's new monograph, available online for $11.00

20 Things to Do to Strengthen Your Position Before Telling Your Partner
Excellent guide to proactive preparation if you believe your marriage is in jeopardy.

Planning for Divorce
Advice from www.divorceheadquarters.com

PAS now meets the Frye test for scientific acceptability in court
from Richard Gardner:"I am pleased to report that on Wednesday, November 22, 2000, a family court in Tampa, Florida, ruled that the PAS had gained enough acceptance in the scientific community to satisfy Frye Test criteria for admissibility."
A good legal precedent to cite if necessary in PAS cases.

A Short Divorce Course
By Ed Sherman, Attorney
Excellent , detailed but clear overview; great introduction to read when first considering the prospect of divorce.
(In particular check out the "extreme conflict" section down towards the end)

How Personality Disorders Drive Family Court Litigation
by William A. Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
A family law specialist summarizes the issues of personality disorders in court.

When It Comes as a Shock
More excellent advice from the Idiot's Guide to Divorce.

Dealing with Mutual Friends and the Smear Campaign ("Why am I suddenly Hitler?") In the Context of a Separation
Great summary from the bpd411 site

Cutting Through the Crud
Really excellent and emotionally very wise advice from Divorceinfo.com ~ well worth a look!

Separation Essentials for Men: The Emotional Issues
Great overview from the Australian MENDS site

Questions to Ask when Interviewing Mediators

Great Client Preparation Guide for the Discovery Deposition
from the MN State Bar Association

Court Room Tips

How to Expose a Narcissist's Lies in a Court of Law

The Layman's Guide To Being A Good Client and The Beginner's Guide to Divorce for Men
by L. D. Math and Bill Whitman.
Excellent , very practical guides on how to deal with your lawyer, issues of custody, almony, PAS, etc.
The former is good for anyone in this situation, the latter is geared for men. These are zip files that will automatically download onto your computer; use UnStuffIt or ZipIt to read them.

DivorceNet
State-by-State summary of custody and divorce laws; divorce answer desk

DivorceHelp.com
Good articles

Divorcesupport.com
Downloadable documents, forms, etc., plus message boards.

Legal Perspectives on Marital/Spousal Rape
Raquel Kennedy Bergen, Ph.D., 1999

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ModOasis Support Group for Adult Children of BPs
I include this link because I think it's VITAL that anyone co-parenting with an untreated Borderline spouse take a good hard look at the long-term effects this might have on the children.

What is Child Maltreatment?
Factsheet from the National Administration for Children and Families

"Staying for the Kids"
by a divorced father with a Borderline ex-wife/co-parent

Divorce Matters: A Child's View
by Lesia Oesterreich, M.S.

Parents' Do's and Don'ts with the Kids during a Divorce
Excellent advice from a family lawyer specializing in custody cases.

The Trauma of Divorce: Reducing the Impact of Separation on Children
by Dean McKay, Ph.D., B.C.E.T.S., F.A.A.E.T.S.
Observations from the professional psychological evaluator's point of view.

HINTS FOR DIVORCING PARENTS: Talking to the Kids
Great tips by Jeanine Wade, Ph.D.

FOCUS ON KIDS: THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
by Karen DeBord, Ph.D., a child development specialist.

Child Abuse: The Hidden Bruises

How to Tell Your Kids about your Divorce
More great tips by Dr. Richard Warshak, author of DIVORCE POISON: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

Problems Associated with Children's Witnessing of Domestic Violence
by Jeffrey L. Edleson, Ph.D., 1999

Children's Rights Council
National Organization that works "to assure children meaningful and continuing contact with both their parents and extended family regardless of the parents' marital status."
The latest research on shared parenting/joint custody advocacy, with the welfare of the children in mind.

Effects of Father Loss due to Divorce
Summary of recent studies.

"Chances of children experiencing problems after divorce depend on mother's parenting style, child's temperament"
by Joel Schwarz, 1/10/2001

"Impression Of Divorce Can Impact Children's Mental Health"
by Sharlene A. Wolchik, PhD, 1999

Help Me Keep My Child
by Judy Trysnicky
Thoughtful reflections by a mother diagnosed with mental illness.

RAISING RESILIENT KIDS : Teach them to roll with the punches
by Jan Faull

"Effect of divorce on children depends on parents' marriage"
by Alan Booth and Paul R. Amato, Penn State, 2001

The Legacy of Parents' Marital Discord: Consequences for Children's Marital Quality
Very interesting full-text study by Booth & Amato, 2001

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You're My World: A Non-BP's Guide to Custody
Eggshells Press, 2001
"A set of three compact discs with practical how-to information you need to gain custody from a BP spouse if you live within the United States of America and Canada. It features a conversation with Ken Lewis, Ph.D., and James Paul Shirley, MSW. Lewis is a Registered Custody Evaluator (R.C.E.) who specializes in interstate cases."

A Guide for Immediate Action if Your Spouse Steals Your Children

Parentingtime.net
Offers support boards and OPTIMAL: the Online Parenting Time Information Manager and Access Log. Great resource!

Parenting Time Tracker
Free downloadable software; vital for early stages of the custody battle! Uses Microsoft Excel 97.

Personality Traits of Parents And Developmental Needs of Children in High-Conflict Families
by Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D.
Excellent article from the court/psychologists' point of view in dealing with personality-disordered families.

The all new for 2002 ANCPR Child Support, Visitation and Custody Modification Handbook

Sharing Custody after the Attack on the World Trade Center
by Mary Kuris
Coping with new regulations for long-distance flights and visitation disputes.

Child Custody and Visitation Decisions in Domestic Violence Cases: Legal Trends, Research Findings, and Recommendations
by Daniel G. Saunders, Ph.D., 1998

Understanding the Batterer in Custody and Visitation Disputes
by R. Lundy Bancroft, 1998
Excellent article detailing the hows and whys of the confounding post-separation behaviors of abusive men.

Assessing Risk to Children from Batterers
by Lundy Bancroft and Jay G. Silverman, 2002
Highly recommended article that describes the risks posed to children both during and after separation and during disputed custody proceedings. Uses the male pronoun for abusers; applies to both genders.

Female Sexual Abusers: A Theory of Loss
by Hollida Wakefield, Martha Rogers, and Ralph Underwager
Very interesting article that discusses the characteristics of female sexual abuse perpetrators.

The Kids And I: Advice for Women who are being Stalked by the Father of Their Children

Supervised Visitation Network
Click on "especially for Parents" on the menu at top: excellent advice & tips. Also offers a very helpful Directory of Supervised Visitation Service Providers.

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Details on the common psychological tests that are administered for custody cases.

Anatomy of a Child Custody Evaluation
A great explanation of the many issues involved in getting a child custody evaluation.
by Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D.

Separated Parenting Access and Resource Center (SPARC)
HUGE and excellent site for all separating parents concerned with difficult custody situations.
The site is geared for men, as they are statistically more often at a societal disadvantage in custody battles, but it is gender-equitable and welcomes women. If you only visit one site for information on the custody process with an unstable spouse, this is the one to visit.
Includes an unbelievably helpful collection of 100's of highly detailed, useful articles, including:

→ Preparing For A Custody Trial

→ Authorization Form For Release Of Psychological/Counseling Records

→ Presenting Negative Information about Your Spouse

→ Parental Evaluation Guide Excellent, must-read: This guide walks you through the entire process of parental and psychological evaluations.

Psychological Evaluations You Need for Trial: What They Can and Cannot Do
by Ralph Underwager and Hollida Wakefield
Great review of the benefits & pitfalls of relying on the MMPI for evidence of spousal instability.

Testifying in Juvenile and Family Court: Preparing for Depositions, Hearings and Trials
by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., and Leecia Welch, J.D.
Excellent article by a leading clinican specializing in childhood trauma.
Gives details on what to expect and how to comport yourself throughout the process.

Questions for you (or your Lawyer) to Ask Potential Custody Evaluators

American Psychological Association's Practice Guideline For Psychiatric Evaluation Of Adults
Excellent walk-through of how the psychological evaluation is administered.

American Psychological Association's Practice Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Divorce Proceedings

The MMPI, MMPI-2, & MMPI-A in Court: A Practical Guide for Expert Witnesses and Attorneys, Second Edition
by Kenneth S. Pope, Ph.D., James N. Butcher, Ph.D., & Joyce, Seelen, B.A., J.D.

Brief descriptions of a number of the most widely used parenting assessment tests
From Village Publishing, which prints & distributes the tests to professionals. Scroll down a bit to get to the tests list.

Read the introduction to THE CUSTODY EVALUATION HANDBOOK: Research-Based Solutions and Applications
by Barry Bricklin, Ph.D., author of the Bricklin Perceptual Scales (BPS), one of the most frequently used child custody tests.

Updated normative, reliability and validity data plus questions & comments regarding the proper use of: BPS, PORT, PASS, PPCP, APSIP, and Discipline Index (DI)
Guide to some of the standard parent/child assessment tests used in custody trials. From the publisher of the Bricklin perceptual scales.

Child custody and access - US legislation
From the excellent Shared Parenting Information Group (SPIG) Site, UK
"An analysis of the legislation of the following US states: Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Illinois, Louisiana, Michigan."

Brief descriptions of a number of the most widely used parenting assessment tests
From Village Publishing, which prints & distributes the tests to professionals. Scroll down a bit to get to the tests list.

Read the introduction to THE CUSTODY EVALUATION HANDBOOK: Research-Based Solutions and Applications
by Barry Bricklin, Ph.D., author of the Bricklin Perceptual Scales (BPS), one of the most frequently used child custody tests.

Updated normative, reliability and validity data plus questions & comments regarding the proper use of: BPS, PORT, PASS, PPCP, APSIP, and Discipline Index (DI)
Guide to some of the standard parent/child assessment tests used in custody trials. From the publisher of the Bricklin perceptual scales.

National Fathers' Resource Center
Another great site that offers excellent support for fathers engaged in custodial battles. Provides references for father-friendly lawyers, support boards, classifieds, and helpful articles.

Family Court Proceedings
by The Hon. James W. Morgan, Family Court, Oneida County, NY
Fabulous reflections by a Family Court judge often "called upon to consider the custody of children whose parent(s) struggle with psychiatric disabilities."

Lying in Family Court
by William A. Eddy, LCSW, Esq., 1999
Observations from family law practice.

JOINT CUSTODY: The Road To Hell is Paved With Good Intentions
Detailed and responsible notes critiquing the practice of joint custody in highly conflictual divorces. This site includes a good collection of extensively annotated Joint Custody Research Studies

The Invisible Parent
By Lu Vickers
Fabulous article by a lesbian parent co-parenting with a Borderline ex-girlfriend.

The Isolation of Human Experience
By "Doug"
Fabulous article by a man co-parenting with a Borderline ex-wife.

Custody 911
Links to over 100 Child Custody Sites

Free Monthly Child Custody Newsletter

A Different Way to Try a Custody Case
Experiences and recommendations of a procedure used by Minnesota judge Hon. Steven C. Aldrich

KidsNeedDads site
Has a support forum for mother and fathers

American Coalition for Fathers and Children

Family Courts.com
Advocacy for Family Court reform

Parental Do's and Don'ts Contract for shared custody

Child custody-access evaluation: Cultural perspectives
This excellent Canadian article discusses the impact of cultural origin of the family (and evaluator) on child custody evaluation.

BP ex-spouse limiting telephone access? Get your kids a KidKard

Legal Expert on Munchausens-By-Proxy Syndrome
A mental disorder in which the parent -- most often the mother -- projects onto or actually induces medical illness in her children (did you see the movie The Sixth Sense?) with the goal of eliciting repeated medical (or any) attention.
There are many cases of this syndrome occurring in mothers with personality disorders. It is a dangerous form of child abuse that can lead to unneccessary treatments, surgeries, and even the death of the child, and any woman suspected of this behavior should be thoroughly evaluated for her competency as a co-parent.

Munchausen's by Proxy in cases of custody battles: Panel and Treatment Discussion

Mothers Against Munchausens Syndrome by Proxy Allegations
For what it's worth, a site by and for women who feel they have been unfairly accused of suffering from MSBP.

See also Marc Feldman's MBPS page , the Ashermeadow 'Official MBPS site' , and my other MSBP links

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DO's and DON'T's When Falsely Accused Of Sexual Abuse
Great tips for men in this situation with an avenging unstable soon-to-be-ex wife.

Personality Characteristics Of Falsely Accusing Parents In Custody Disputes

The Abuse of Restraining Orders
by Cathy Young

False Accusations
A guide put out by menstuff.com -- very useful detailed walk through the entire courtroom process!

12 Important Steps to Take if You are Falsely Accused of Child (Sexual) Abuse or Neglect

Full-text articles in the journal Issues Of Child Abuse Allegations
Excellent collection - if you're involved in an abuse allegations trial, do not miss these articles!

The SAID Victim (Sexual Allegations in Divorce)

The Effects of a False Allegation of Child Sexual Abuse on an Intact Middle Class Family
by Darrell W. Richardson
Although funded by the folks who promote the disputed "False Memory Syndrome", this case study is of great interest to those non-Borderline partners in the position of being falsely accused by a BPD spouse.

When You Suspect the Worst: Bad-faith relocation, fabricated child sexual abuse, and parental alienation
by Carol Holstein Sanders

Questions and Answers about Memories of Childhood Abuse
From the American Psychological Association

Dean Tong's Abuse Excuse site
"Helping parents with false abuse accusations."
Order a copy of Dean's brand-new book: 'Elusive Innocence: A Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused'
With chapters on Borderlines as custody litigants.

Don't Blame Me, Daddy
by Dean Tong. First book to really examine the damage done to the children when false allegations of abuse are made by an unstable divorcing parent.
This is a sample chapter; you can order the book on the same site.

The A-Team
Great resource for parents battling false sexual abuse, child abuse or domestic violence allegations.
The site offers plenty of reading and references.
Run by a law firm specializing in these issues, but it is not too overtly self-promotional, offers a wealth of information.

FalseAllegations.com
Barbara C. Johnson's large site for false abuse allegation legal support
The site focusses on collecting the most recent legal precedents and relevant cases.
Barbara also offers a cheap fee-based question-answering service

Dealing with the problem of "false memory" in clinic and court
By John G. Watkins, Ph. D.

The Male Perspective on Abuse of Restraining Orders in Custody Situations
A collection of facts, opinions and essays from the well-done Domestic Violence against Men in Colorado site

NASVO
National Association of State VOCAL Organizations [Victims of Child Abuse Laws]
Has an excellent overview of how to deal with the entire Criminal Court process.

A Male Nightmare
Tales of women pressing false abuse charges

100 False Allegations of Abuse
Interesting but depressing results of a 1989 survey on the effects of false abuse accusations on the accusee.

How To Survive in Prison as an Innocent Man Convicted of a Sex Crime
By James D. Anderson
This is one I really hope few men need to read, but since it's relevant, here it is.
James Anderson is the founder of SAFAR (Society Against False Accusations of Rape). Write to: James D. Anderson #6952487, Oregon State Correctional Institution, 3405 Deer Park Drive, S. E. Salem, Oregon 97301

Horse and Buggy Lawyers in the 21st Century
by Kenneth R. Pangborn, creator of the A-Team legal consultants for False Abuse Allegation cases

Normative Sexual Behavior in Children: A Contemporary Sample
by W.N. Friedrich, J. Fisher, D. Broughton, M.Houston, and C. R. Shafran of the Mayo Clinic
Excellent and very detailed assessment of the Child Sexual Behavior Inventory test to determine 'normal' vs 'abusive' sexual experience.

"Why is Daddy in Jail?"
An excellent essay from the DVMen website

Order a back copy of the journal Issues In Child Abuse Accusations from the tables of contents online.

Paternity Fraud Web Site
Information, legislation and support for those men being falsely accused of paternity as a manipulation method during a difficult divorce

Mothers Against Munchausens Syndrome by Proxy Allegations
A site by and for women who feel they have been unfairly accused of suffering from MSBP.

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A Therapist's View of Parental Alienation Syndrome
by Mary Lund
"From a "Family Systems" perspective, the blame for PAS lies less with psychopathology of one parent than it does with the usually very high conflict between both parents and both parents' psychopathology."

Richard R. Gardner on PAS
Informative web site by the author of the path-breaking book The Parental Alienation Syndrome

Stealing the Minds of Our Children: The Inside Story Of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) And Its Tragic Effects On So Many Children And Families Of Divorce
Excellent write-up of the personal and social effects of PAS behaviors by William Kirkendale, President of The Parental Alienation Syndrome Foundation Of America. Includes examples and good source materials as well as Kirkendale's own experiences with a wife who severely alienated his daughter.

Denial of the Parental Alienation Syndrome also Harms Women
Great new article by Richard Gardner

A Plea to Separating Parents
Moving article by a former parentally abducted child.

High Conflict Divorce or Stalking by Way of Family Court? The Empowerment of a Wealthy Abuser in Family Court Litigation Linda v. Lyle - A Case Study
by by T. J. Sutherland, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N., J.D.
Fascinating case study and analysis of a divorce/custody case very similar to that of many non-Borderline/BP couples.

Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex
New book! by Richard A., Dr Warshak, 2002
"DIVORCE POISON is a breakthrough book. Original, well-written, balanced, and filled with insights, it is the perfect book for any parent who has been the victim of bad-mouthing. Prior to DIVORCE POISON, the common wisdom for a bad-mouthed parent was to say nothing. Dr. Warshak explains why that is like leaving the poison in your child's system; he helps parents identify and respond to bad-mouthing in a way that benefits the child." -- from the review by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
Read excerpts and find more extremely helpful information at Child Custody and Divorce Poison Resources.

CUSTODY AND VISITATION INTERFERENCE: ALTERNATIVE REMEDIES
Fabulous detailed article by Joy M. Feinberg and Lori S. Loeb

DIVORCE POISON CONTROL CENTER: Remedies for Alienated Children
Really excellent resource with weekly updates and tips for separated parents experiencing PAS.

Douglas Darnall's Parental Alienation Web Site
Great resources, guides, articles and links from a father who dealt with PAS

Download or print out a free 154-page book from FamilyCourts.com: Stealing The Minds Of Our Children: The Inside Story Of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) And Its Tragic Effects On So Many Children And Families Of Divorce
by William Kirkendale

Fabulous collection of full-text PAS articles from the excellent F.A.C.T. Canada ('Fathers Are Capable Too'), "Canada's Largest Non-Custodial Parents' and Children's Rights Organization." Great Canadian legal resources.

Parental Alienation Syndrome
by Forensic Psychologist, Deirdre Conway Rand, Ph.D.
Excellent very long but thorough review of PAS. A must-read for anyone in this situation.
Part I: PAS history and research
Part II: the impact of PAS on the child and the non-custodial parent, and detailed review of how PAS functions in the US legal system

Parental Alienation syndrome: The Lost Parents' Perspective
by Despina Vassiliou. This is an excerpt from the author's Masters Thesis, interesting reading!

DIFFERENTIATING BETWEEN PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME AND BONA FIDE ABUSE-NEGLECT
by Richard A. Gardner M.D., 2000

Recommendations for Dealing with Parents Who Induce a Parental Alienation Syndrome in Their Children
by Richard A. Gardner M.D.

Life After PAS: Gaining Custody After Parental Alienation

Parents who have Successfully Fought Parental Alienation Syndrome
by A. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
great article on PAS & what to do

Divorce-Related "Malicious Mother Syndrome"

Should Courts Order PAS Children to Visit/Reside with the Alienated Parent? A Follow-up Study
by Richard A. Gardner. M.D.
Excellent article on what kind of custody/therapy strategies to follow

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Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center message boards
General, second-family and ndividual state boards for fathers AND mothers experienced difficult an extreme custody situations. HIGHLY recommended!

Protesting False Accusations
"A community of friends, family, & falsly accused people." Fabulous supportive forum at About.com. Registration required to post (but not to read); free & anonymous.

State-by-State Child Custody Discussion Boards
"Share case information and techniques": a valuable resource.

The False Accusations Support Listserve
A free online support group run by a law firm specializing in these cases.

Moms for Dads' Rights
"Screwed by Family Court? Join here for help."

Keep Your Kids
Support "for parents who are in a custody fight and want to maximize their chances of getting and keeping custody. "Marriage-saving" advice for those who are seeking to AVOID a divorce and custody battle."

Fathers are Capable Too
Canadian support for fathers in difficult custody/parenting situations.

Shared Parenting Information Group (SPIG)
Excellent, thorough UK-based site with tons of information, contacts and support.

DivorceNet
Message boards for Second Wives, Custody, Fathers' Rights, Domestic Violence
State-by-State summary of custody and divorce laws; divorce answer desk

DivorceHelp.com
Divorce helpline/message boards, articles etc.

Custody Consultants' FREE ADVICE BOARDS: Ask your questions regarding custody; run by a litigator specializing in difficult custody cases:
Custody Advice Board and Custody Evaluation Advice Board

Divorcesupport.com
Downloadable documents, forms, etc., plus message boards

Second Chances
A cheerful new site mainly for women in their second marriage with divorce/co-parenting issues.

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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist
By William A. Eddy, Attorney, Mediator and Clinical Social Worker
from the review:
False Allegations Of Child Sexual Abuse: Attorney & Client Desk Reference, Third Edition
By Edward Nichols, MSW, CSW-R
This volume is pricy but provides excellent advice for those battling this situation. This links you to a very detailed content overview and ordering forms for the book.

Elusive Innocence: A Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused
by Dean Tong, himself a victim of false abuse allegations and a prominent legal spokesperson in the non-BPD community.

Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex
New book! by Richard A., Dr Warshak, 2002
"DIVORCE POISON is a breakthrough book. Original, well-written, balanced, and filled with insights, it is the perfect book for any parent who has been the victim of bad-mouthing. Prior to DIVORCE POISON, the common wisdom for a bad-mouthed parent was to say nothing. Dr. Warshak explains why that is like leaving the poison in your child's system; he helps parents identify and respond to bad-mouthing in a way that benefits the child." -- from the review by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
This link takes you to Dr. Warshak's site with detailed reviews and more.

The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics
by Lundy Bancroft & Jay Silverman, 2002
Geared for mothers & survivors of marital abuse during/after the custody process:
"The authors cover the important but often-overlooked area of the post-separation parenting behaviors of men who batter, including their use of custody litigation as a tool of abuse. Readers also are guided in evaluating change in the parenting of men who batter, assessing risk to children from unsupervised visitation, and supporting the emotional recovery of children."

Conscious Divorce: Ending a Marriage With Integrity: A Practical and Spiritual Guide for Moving On
Book by Susan Allison, highly recommended by a number of divorcing NonBPs.
"Allison offers a unique blend of important practical information for every stage of marital breakup, support for long-term emotional upheaval, advice for dealing with lawyers, mediators, friends and family and the view that "marital bonds are never completely severed" (the relationship simply changes). Recognizing the long process as "not just the tremendous loss of another person; it is the loss of the dream you have believed since childhood," she details the possibility of proceeding with respect, compassion and love for everyone involved, including yourself, from the first inkling of a separation to the mixed memories that resurface even years later."

Your Divorce Advisor : A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce
by by Diana Mercer, Marsha Kline Pruett, 2001
"This is the first book to focus on the concerns, fears, and futures of everyone involved in a divorce. With vital legal information and sound psychological advice, it takes readers chronologically through the divorce process and explains how to manage every step without losing emotional control, traumatizing young children, or jeopardizing the goal of reaching an agreement that will stand the test of time. Written by a matrimonial attorney and a clinical psychologist who specializes in family."

Suggestions of Abuse; True and False Memories of Childhood Sexual Trauma
by Michael D. Yapko
Offers coping tips for affected family members.

Divorce/Custody/Pas Resources & Books
Very useful online catalogue/bookstore from Richard A. Warshak, Ph.D., author of Divorce Poison.

The A-Team Bookstore on Divorce and the Politics of Custody

Reviewed Books on Divorce and Custody
From the Men's Issues pages at www.vix.com

Child Custody Litigation : A Guide for Parents and Mental Health Professionals
by Richard A. Gardner

Mom's House, Dad's House : A Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried
by Isolina Ricci, PhD
Read a review of this book.

Joint Custody With a Jerk : Raising a Child With an Uncooperative Ex
by Julia A. Ross, Judy Corcoran

Taking the High Road : How to Cope With Your Ex-Husband, Maintain Your Sanity, and Raise Your Child in Peace
by Nailah Shami

Walking Away From A Marriage Without Walking Over The Kids
by Michael L. Oddenino

Divorce Casualties : Protecting Your Children from Parental Alienation
by Douglas Darnall

The Divorce and Custody Bookstore
compiled by the Beaulier Law Offices in Bloomington, MN

Fighting for Your Children : A Father's Guide to Custody
by John Steinbreder, Richard G. Kent

Batchelors and Their Functional Families: A GUIDE TO BEING A SUCCESSFUL SINGLE FATHER AND SINGLE PARENT
by Thomas J. Hoerner, 2000. Read excerpts and order it online.

The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce-Custody Battle : A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists & Social Workers
by Robert Seidenberg, William Dawes, Lawrence Peckmezian

Where's Daddy? : The Mythologies Behind Custody Access Support
by K. C.

Life After Divorce: Create a New Beginning
by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse

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