Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified: An Essential Guide to Understanding and Living With BPD
by Robert Friedel, MD July 2004
Brand-new, with excellent reviews so far.
from the review: "In Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified, Dr. Robert Friedel, a leading expert on the disorder and a pioneer in its treatment, turns his vast personal experience into a useful and supportive guide for everyone living with and seeking to understand this condition. Friedel sheds light on all the intricacies of borderline personality disorder, such as the course it takes, the difficulties in diagnosing it, and the types of treatment available, and offers effective advice on the best ways to cope with it. Filled with wisdom and encouragement, Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified is essential reading for everyone diagnosed with BPD, those who think they might have the illness, and friends and family who love and support them."

Stop Walking on Eggshells
by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason 1998
The gold standard of BPD coping resources for loved ones. Offers a review of the disorder and its behaviors as well as numerous tips on how to re-work communication dynamics with someone with BPD. Some folks with BPD have recommended this as a good first read for those with the disorder, too, but proceed cautiously.
New! Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook -- for loved ones of BPs
ORDERING INFORMATION: $19.95 plus $3 shipping and handling, not yet available in bookstores.
Call toll free 1-888 357-4355 (888-35-SHELL) or email: bookch@aol.com

I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me
by Jerold Kreisman 1989, reprint Feb 1991
Somewhat outdated (especially where treatment is concerned), but still the only paperback for the general public. It's certainly the most affordable BPD book out there, and it does give a thorough overview of the symptoms & behaviors.
Those with BPD should read with caution, realizing that there are newer sources of information on the market (including Kreisman's newest, below). Read a review of this book.

New! Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder
by Jerold Kreisman, Hal Straus 2004
New from the author of I Hate You Don't Leave Me, this is a compendium of case studies describing 12 different patients with differing symptomatologies. Reviewed positively by both those with BPD and their loved ones.

The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders
by Joseph Santoro, PhD 1997
Santoro's book is one of the few that is also geared for the male Borderline (and the person with BPD over 20), although excellent for both genders and many ages. This is a progressive self-help program for folks with BPD that is tough but very well thought-out. The book is quite dense and should be approached by a Borderline only when the necessity for treatment has been accepted. I have heard many people with BPD who are committed to recovery attribute their success in part to this book.
It's also a super, very enlightening resource for the non-Borderline -- I liked this one best of all I've read: intelligently written with a minimum of rainbows & unicorns.

Lost in the Mirror
Second edition March 2001
by Richard A. Moskovitz M.D.
A gentler book which incorporates the life story of a hypothetical Borderline person, amalgamated from the BPD patients in Dr. Moskovitz' practice.
Recommended by Borderlines in recovery as a first read for the newly-diagnosed, although as a non-Borderline I found it a bit watered-down. This link takes you to Dr. Moskovitz' BPD site with details on the book.

Eclipses
by Melissa Ford Thornton 1997
A self-described "testimonial" to the effectiveness of Linehan's DBT therapy. Thornton describes her experience in an inpatient residential treatment program from the viewpoint of the recovering Borderline.

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
by Christina Lawson, 2001
The first title on this topic. Organizes the kinds of borderline mother by fairy-tale allegory, and is quite good. Highly recommended for adult children of all mothers who exhibit BPD traits and behaviors.Read a detailed review of Understanding the Borderline Mother.

Imbroglio: Rising to the Challenges of Borderline Personality Disorder
by Janice Cauwels 1992
A lengthy compilation of topics written by many of the acknowledged experts in the field. An updated revision is expected soon.

Life at the Border and Biological Unhappiness
by Leland Heller, MD 1999
Heller is a vocal if somewhat controversial proponent of psychopharmaceutical treatment for BPD. He's a family practitioner who claims to have helped numerous Borderlines recover via medication; the chips are not yet in, but Heller does offer an optimistic, de-stigmatizing approach to the disorder. Check out the books and his site at this link.

Through the Looking Glass: Women and Borderline Personality Disorder
by Dana Becker
A feminist approach. Read a detailed review at this link.

Essential Papers on Borderline Disorders: One Hundred Years at the Border
by Michael H. Stone (Ed.), 1986
A collection of research and history of the term and diagnosis, edited by a leading researcher of BPD.

Women and Borderline Personality Disorder: Symptoms and Stories
by Janet Wirth-Cauchon

The Search for the Real Self: Unmasking the Personality Disorders of Our Age
by James Masterson
In this volume, clinician Masterson writes about Borderline and Narcissistic personality disorders, and like J. Kreisman (I Hate You, Don't Leave Me!, above), he speculates on personality disorders as a "sign of our modern times."

Personality Disorders in Modern Life
by Theodore Millon & Roger D. Davis, 2000

Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder
by Marsha M. Linehan, Ph.D.
Linehan is the developer of one of the newer, more effective forms of BPD treatment called 'Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.' or DBT.
This book is geared for clinicians, but is extremely helpful for the layperson trying to understand the Borderline mindset.

Borderline Personality Disorder: A Patient's Guide to Taking Control
by Gina M. Fusco, Arthur Freeman, 2003
"A complete patient guide for borderline personality disorder. [...] Filled with practical strategies and the research and theory behind them, this book provides patients with the necessary tools for working with this innovative program." ~recommended by a number of readers with BPD.

Borderline and Beyond: A Program of Recovery from BPD
by Laura Paxton
Paxton is a recovering Borderline and clinical therapist who has developed a program and workbook for the Borderline to use in conjunction with therapy.

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See more volumes for folks with BPD working on recovery in: Workbooks for BPD

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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason 1998
The gold standard of BPD coping resources for loved ones.
"Do you feel that anything you do or say will be twisted against you? Are you being accused of things you never did or said? Do you try to avoid horrible, confusing arguments by concealing your thoughts and feelings? Are you at the end of your rope? We promise that our book, Stop Walking On Eggshells, will help." ~Recommended!

And check out the companion: The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
for loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. Buy it with Stop Walking on Eggshells and get a discount.

Why is It Always about You?: Saving Yourself from the Narcissists of Your Life
by Sandy Hotchkiss & James F. Masterson, May 2002
"In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows how to cope with such controlling, egotistical people and offers healthy strategies for rebuilding self-esteem. Whether the narcissist in question is a co-worker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice and strategies for survival for anyone struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread from one generation to the next and for all those who encounter narcissists in their everyday life."

When Madness Comes Home: Help and Hope for the Children, Siblings, and Partners of the Mentally Ill
by Victoria Secunda
"A beautifully written, meticulously researched, well-organized book that is inflected by the author's special empathy as the sister of someone with schizophrenia. [...] Secunda has interviewed scores of sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, and spouses of people afflicted with schizophrenia, manic-depressive disorder, debilitating depression, and other serious afflictions. She allows them to speak for themselves, while gently guiding the reader toward insights, coping strategies, knowledge, and compassion." ~from the book reviews
Recommended as especially good for the siblings of those with BPD.

I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help: Helping the Severely Mentally Ill Accept Treatment
by Dr. Xavier Amador with Anna-Lisa Johanson
Geared for schizophrenics, but it is excellent for the partner or family members of Borderlines, too. Read the reviews and preface at this link, with ordering information.

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You
by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier
Check out Susan's other (highly recommended) books on Susan Forward's Web Site

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and How to Respond
by Patricia Evans.
An excellent reference book for verbal defense techniques to implement with Borderlines. Ordering information for the book in the US, UK, Australia, and in Chinese, German and French. Check out Patricia's web site at PatriciaEvans.com

Controlling People
Patricia Evans' new book!
"Based on thousands of cases, Controlling People reveals how controllers struggle to shape the lives of others. We'll discover the forces that compel them and why they, as if under a spell, often destroy the relationships that they want most to preserve. We'll see for the first time the processes that shape them and most important, we'll find out what controllers are really trying to do. We'll know why, when they tell others who and what they are — what they think and feel, and even their motives, controllers don't realize the senselessness of their own behavior. Lastly we'll meet some formerly spellbound controllers and find out what they have to say about themselves."

The Othello Response: Dealing with Jealousy, Suspicion and Rage in Your Relationship
by Kenneth C. Ruge, Barry Lenson
For any partner - married or not, gay or straight. Excellent reviews.

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family
by Eleanor D. Payson
"Using simple metaphors from the American classic, The Wizard of Oz, Payson illustrates how Dorothy¹s journey captures all the seductive illusions and challenges that occur when we encounter the narcissist. Empowering the reader with the ABCs of unhealthy narcissism and the unique problems that occur when a person becomes involved with the narcissist, Payson gives step-by-step practical tools to identify, protect, and heal from these destructive relationships."

Insane Jealousy: The causes, outcomes, and solutions when jealousy gets out of hand
by Vijai P. Sharma, PhD.
A clinical psychologist through his extensive research and therapy experience discusses jealousy, symptoms, treatment and self-help techniques. This book explains what insane jealousy is, how to recognize it, and what actions to take.

Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
by Albert J. Bernstein
Bernstein is a clinical psychologist who works with personality disorders. This new book is clear, humorous, and offers some coping tips, although it's not BPD-specific. Better for co-workers than family.

Bully In Sight: How to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying. Overcoming the silence and denial by which abuse thrives
by Tim Field
This excellent volume is basically a Stop Walking On Eggshells for co-workers of BPs. ~Highly recommended for both co-workers and others!

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
by Lundy Bancroft, 2002
Excellent new study & guide to understanding the emotional dynamics from "inside" the male Borderline mind.
"Bancroft answers the twenty questions that women most commonly ask about relationship partners who are controlling, including: How do I know when his bad temper or controlling personality has crossed the line into abuse? How come arguments with him never seem to get anywhere? Does he have a problem with women? How can I get him to change, and how can I tell if his changes are real? How is his behavior affecting our children? Why is he so nice to everyone except me? Is he going to do something dangerous?"

The Role of the Family in Psychiatric Rehabilitation: A Workbook
by Spaniol, Zipple, Marsh & Finley, 2000
"This workbook offers practical strategies for helping families of individuals with psychiatric disability to better understand their roles in the recovery and rehabilitation process."
Read a NAMI review at this link, too.

Coping With The Disorder
Full-length article by Dr. Paul Hannig, a personality disorder researcher and therapist. (September 2001)
Order it online for $10; read an excerpt here

Family Fallout: A Handbook for Families of Adult Sexual Abuse Survivors
by Dorothy Beaulieu Landry, MEd
"Family Fallout is one of a few books available for relatives who need to understand what the trauma of childhood sexual victimization means for the adult survivor." Sections on family of origin, family of choice, and kids.

Toxic Nourishment
by Michael Eigner, 2002
Good writing from a clinian/philosopher who works with BPD patients, among others. Read an online excerpt at amazon.com. Great for understanding the push-pull of abusive familial relationships.

Out of the Darkened Room: When a Parent is Depressed: Protecting the Children and Strengthening the Family
by William Beardslee, PhD.
"Drawing from a comprehensive, long-term study of resilient children from depressed families, Out of the Darkened Room outlines a wide array of prevention strategies, from the family meeting to open and sustained communication on the subject of mental illness. Dr. Beardslee weaves together his own personal and clinical experiences with the emerging scientific research, the key theoretical concepts, and the steps families need to take in order to make sense of the illness."

When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness: A Handbook for Family, Friends, and Caregivers
by Rebecca Woolis, Agnes Hatfied

The Burden of Sympathy: How Families Cope With Mental Illness
by David Allen Karp (published March 2001)

Coping With Mental Illness In The Family: A Family Guide
by Agnes B. Hatfield, Ph.D

How to Cope With Mental Illness in Your Family : A Self-Care Guide for Siblings, Offspring, and Parents
by Diane T. Marsh, Rex M. Dickens, E. Fuller Torrey

How to Live With a Mentally Ill Person. A Handbook of Day-To-Day Strategies
by Christine Adamec, D. J. Jaffe

The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman
Geared for therapists, but reviewed with raves by some NonBP readers as helping them finally understand their Borderline significant other's family dynamics (and sometimes their own) and why it's so hard to set boundaries.

Books and Publications by Al-Anon (family members and loved ones of alcoholics)

Bipolar Disorder: A Guide for Patients and Families
by Francis Mark Mondimore M.D.
Those living with loved ones diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder experience many of the same conflicts as those living with Borderlines.

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Lost Childhoods: The Plight Of The Parentified Child
by Gregory J. Jurkovic, PhD
This book (written for therapists to help understand themselves!) explores the character of adults who take on disproportionate emotional responsibility for the dysfunctions of others. An invaluable resource for understanding one common emotional make-up of those who remin in abusive relationships with Borderline loved ones. (Also helps understand the dynamics of many Borderline families.)

It's Not Okay Anymore: Your Personal Guide to Ending Abuse, Taking Charge, and Loving Yourself
by Jan Black, Greg Enns

Better Boundaries
by Jan Black and Greg Enns
Great 'how-to' boundary book.

Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
by Anne Katherine

Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships
by Robert Alberti, Ph.D., and Michael Emmons, Ph.D.

Family Secrets: The Path to Self-Acceptance and Reunion
by John Bradshaw, author of Healing the Shame that Binds You, a perennial non-Borderline best-seller.

Healing the Shame That Binds You
by John Bradshaw

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher
Highly recommended by an exhausted fellow with a BP wife.

Hidden Victims: An Eight Stage Healing Process for Family and Friends of the Mentally Ill
by Julie Tallard Johnson

The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships
by Beverly Engel. New, wonderful volume on this topic.

The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection
by Robert Karen, PhD
This is one of the best books on the 'forgiveness question' I've ever seen. Examines what forgiveness is, is mistaken for, and can be for all of us.

I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better: Six Practical Principles to Empower Others to Solve Their Own Problems While Enriching Your Relationships
by Joy Saunders Lundberg and Gary B. Lundberg
Excellent stuff for nons: read an excerpt at this link.

Codependent No More
by Melody Beattie
A classic on co-dependency.

How to Love Yourself When You Don't Know How
by Jacqui Bishop, M.S. & Mary Grunte, R.N.
From the 'Inner Child' self-help movement

The Price of Nice
Audiocassette by John Bradshaw (great on-the-road listening!)
"Nice guys often finish last. In this lecture, John Bradshaw exposes the hidden and frequently destructive forces behind the facade of being the "nice guy". Here, he explains how such behavior can destroy relationships and intimacy by never being honestly connected with others. Finally, Bradshaw offers practical insights into how listeners can learn to be kindly but firmly direct about how they feel, and find that place in their lives where they can be who they really are."

Too Tired to Keep Running -- Too Scared to Stop: Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life
by Joyce Nelson Patenaude PhD
Recommended as a great self-help book for figuring out your own relationship patterns.

Start Where You Are
by Pema Chodron

How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons
by Albert Ellis, Arthur Lange
and
The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life
by Albert Ellis, Marcia Grad Powers
Timeless classics. Excellent strategies for learning how to 'detach' when someone pushes and pushes

You Can Heal Your Life
by Louis L. Hay
Rave reviews by a number of Nons: amazon.com best-seller.

The Doormat Syndrome: Learning About the Correct Use of Power
by Lynne Namka. Back in print! You can read about it and order it here

The Other Side of Power
by Claude M. Steiner PhD, 2000
This is a free, full-length online book (based loosely on transactional analysis theory) about how to deal with power games in all human relationships. Recommended!
From the book: "You may find difficulty in accepting that it is a good idea not to respond to power plays with power plays. We are so steeped in the pleasures of control that it is hard to give up the joy of sandbagging and flattening somebody who, obviously, illegitimately and with malice aforethought, is trying to push us around. This book probably would do very well if it was called How to Stop People from Pushing You Around and Make Them Wish They Were Sorry for Trying, but that is not my aim."

Creative Visualization
by Shakti Gawain. Recommended as a great book for in-depth work on who you are and what you want in your life

Getting over Getting Mad: Positive Ways to Manage Anger in Your Most Important Relationships
By Judy Ford, 2002. Read a review at this link.

Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love
by Pia Mellody

Forgive Your Parents, Heal Yourself: How Understanding Your Painful Family Legacy Can Transform Your Life
by Barry Grosskopf

The Zen Path Through Depression
by Philip Martin
Excellent guide!

I don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
by Terence Real

Sidran Foundation's Excellent Traumatic Stress Book Offerings

I don't want to be alone: for men and women who want to heal addictive relationships
by John H. Lee

Man's Search for Meaning : An Introduction to Logotherapy
by Victor E. Frankl, survivor of the Holocaust concentration camps

Daily Affirmations for Forgiving and Moving On
by Tian Dayton

When God Becomes a Drug : Breaking the Chains of Religious Addiction and Abuse
by Father Leo Booth

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Love and Loathing: Protecting Your Mental Health and Legal Rights When Your Partner has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Randi Kreger and Kim A. Williams.

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage
Fabulous new title by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship
by Beverly Engel
Fabulous new title by a great author -- has chapters on BPD behaviors for both non-Borderline and Borderline spouses.

Loving Him without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself
by Beverly Engel
Excellent for wives/significant others of BP men, as well as women with BPD themselves. Highly recommended!

Help, I'm in Love with a Narcissist by Steven Carter

Loving the Self-Absorbed: How to Create a More Satisfying Relationship with a Narcissistic Partner
by Nina W. Brown

Compelled to Control: Recovering Intimacy in Broken Relationships
by Keith Miller
from a reader: "This book is fabulous for anyone dealing with any kind of co-dependence issues, self-esteem issues and just issues with the way you were raised by your parents in general. It is not a blaming book for the past, but a real planning book for the future." Read a lengthy excerpt of this book by clicking on "more detail".

Is It You or Is It Me?: Why Couples Play the Blame Game
by Scott Wetzler

The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships: What's Going on Behind the Scene
by Doug & Naomi Moseley

Living With the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping With Personality Syndrome of Hidden Aggression-From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
by Scott Wechsler, PhD
Fabulous coping tips!

Path to the Light: The Journety to the Light after a Destructive Relationship
by Richard 21CP, a husband who divorced his BO wife after 17 years of marriage.

Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them: Breaking the Cycle of Physical and Emotional Abuse
by Paul Hegstrom
Hegstrom is a Christian pastor and former wife abuser himself, giving this book a unique and powerful perspective. Hegstrom's work has been very positively reviewed by a number of folks in abusive relationships.

Should I Stay or Go: How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage
by Lee Raffel, Jean Houston

Fear of Intimacy
by Robert W. Firestone, Joyce Catlett

Dysinhibition Syndrome: How to Handle Anger and Rage in Your Child or Spouse
by Rose Wood

Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness: Couples Speak on Healing From Sex Addiction,
by J. Schneider and B. Schneider

The Intimacy Struggle. Revised and Expanded for All Adults
by Janet G. Woititz, one of the acclaimed gurus of the ACOA movement.

When Hope Can Kill: Reclaiming Your Soul in a Romantic Relationship
by Lucy Papillon

When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier

The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
by Patrick J. Carnes
Author of
In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior
and
Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict

Family Fallout: A Handbook for Families of Adult Sexual Abuse Survivors
by D. Landry
Recommended as a good book for the difficult process of confronting families in denial about experiences of childhood sexual abuse.

Money Demons: Keep Them from Sabotaging Your Relationships and Your Life
by Susan Forward, Craig Buck

Partners in Recovery: How Mates, Lovers & Other Prosurvivors Can Learn to Support & Cope With Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
by Beverly Engel

The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse
by Wendy Maltz, Carol Arian
One of the few that talks about what to do about recovering your sex life NOW as an adult; geared for the survivor, but makes great couples' reading.

What About Me? A Guide for Men Helping Female Partners Deal with Childhood Sexual Abuse
By Grant Cameron

When You Are the Partner of a Rape or Incest Survivor: A Workbook for You
By Robert Barry Levine
Specifically for men in this situation.

Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child, a Support Book for Partners
by Laura Davis
A popular volume in the survivor community; recommended by some non-Borderline husbands. Written by a well-known but somewhat controversial abuse survivor.

Haunted Marriage : Overcoming the Ghosts of Your Spouse's Childhood Abuse
by Clark E. Barshinger, Lojan E. LaRowe, Andres T. Tapia
A Christian perspective

Outgrowing the Pain Together: A Book for Spouses and Partners of Adults Abused as Children
by Eliana Gil
A clear, concise summary of the issues, with self-help exercises for couples.

Ghosts in the Bedroom : A Guide for Partners of Incest Survivors
by Ken Graber

Wounded Boys, Heroic Men: A Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse
by Dr. Daniel Sonkin
This volume has been called a "must read" for men coping with the effects of child physical, sexual and psychological abuse.

Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse
by Michael Lew

Infidelity On-Line: An Effective Guide to Rebuilding your Relationship After a Cyberaffair
I have not reviewed this e-booklet personally, but you can order it online ($5.95) and let me know!

Manic Depression : How to Live While Loving a Manic Depressive
by Lynn Bradley

The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses
by Robert W. Firestone
Describes the defense mechanisms used especially by Borderlines. Technical and somewhat dry.

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Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or Yourself
by Kathy Winkler and Randi Kreger

Relief for Hurting Parents
by Buddy Scott
Excellent coping book for parents of difficult children, recommended by a number of non-Borderline parents. The site offers sample readings from the book, online support forums and information on local parenting support groups.

Raising Children Who Refuse To Be Raised: Parenting Skills and Therapy Interventions for the most Difficult Children
by Dave Ziegler, Ph.D.

For Mothers of Difficult Daughters: How to Enrich and Repair the Relationship in Adulthood
by Dr. Charney Herst
Recommended by posters on the Borderline Tempest board for parents of Borderlines.

Before It's Too Late
by Stanton E. Samenow
"If you sense that your child is seriously troubled, you may feel bewildered, helpless, ineffective. How can you stop your child from throwing away his or her life? How can you avoid thinking that you've failed as a parent? In this newly revised and expanded edition of the classic guide Before It's Too Late, clinical psychologist Stanton E. Samenow explains how to break the useless cycle of blame and take corrective action."

The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families
by Mary Pipher, author of the best-selling Reviving Ophelia.
From a review: "Dr Pipher focuses on families' strengths and resources, and refuses to label them "dysfunctional." Often, we simply need to rethink our use of time and technology. For me, reading this book was like taking a deep, calming breath and seeing my precious family in a new light."

Dysinhibition Syndrome: How to Handle Anger and Rage in Your Child or Spouse
by Rose Wood

Intrusive Parenting: How Psychological Control Affects Children and Adolescents
edited by Brian K. Barber, brand-new in Feb 2002!
A compilation of the latest research on the effect of disordered parenting.

Dissociative Children: Bridging the Inner and Outer Worlds
by Lynda Shirar
"Beyond teaching how to recognize and diagnose dissociation, the author also provides treatment plans and techniques useful in helping to work with dissociative children."
From the book: "The penalty of childhood trauma and the necessary dissociative coping become increasingly costly for the child growing up, even after the trauma itself has stopped. Any child who has dissociative symptoms, whether, mild or severe, can benefit from identification and treatment of those symptoms. Given the opportunity, children can heal while they are still children." Read a review at this link.

Parents, Teens and Boundaries: How to Draw the Line
by Jane Bluestein

Out of the Darkened Room: When a Parent is Depressed: Protecting the Children and Strengthening the Family
by William Beardslee, professor of Child Psychiatry, Harvard Med School, due out: July 2002.
"Drawing from a comprehensive, long-term study of resilient children from depressed families, Out of the Darkened Room outlines a wide array of prevention strategies, from the family meeting to open and sustained communication on the subject of mental illness. Dr. Beardslee weaves together his own personal and clinical experiences with the emerging scientific research, the key theoretical concepts, and the steps families need to take in order to make sense of the illness."

The Essential Grandparent's Guide to Divorce
by Dr. Lillian Carson
"Tips for maintaining relationships with your in-law kids." Read an excerpt at this link, too.

Hope for High-Risk and Rage-Filled Children: Attachment Theory and Therapy
by Foster Cline, M.D

Books on Teens/Children with Conduct Disorders

Growing Up Again : Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children
by Connie Dawson, Jean Illsley Clarke

Personality Disorders in Adolescents and Children
by Kernberg, Weiner, Bardenstein, 2000.
A compendium of the latest psychological research on PDs in children

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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
by Susan Forward ~highly recommended!

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
by Christina Lawson
The first title on this topic. Organizes the kinds of borderline mother by fairy-tale allegory, and is quite good.

Divorcing a Parent: A Sympathetic and Practical Guide for Adult Children Who Need to Free Themselves From an Abusive Relationship with a Parent
by Beverly Engel ~highly recommended!

Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
byKimberlee Roth, Freda Friedman, PhD. ~highly recommended!

Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents
by Nina W. Brown
This great book doesn't mention BPD, but is nonetheless very appropriate reading. Has some wonderful boundary-type exercises!

Cutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms With Your Parents
by Howard Marvin Halpern

I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives
by Deborah Tannen, PhD,linguistics professor and best-selling author of You Just Don't Understand

Forgiving Dad: A Therapist's Journey to Forgiveness
by Anthony T. Campo, Ph.D.

If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past...And Take Your Place in the World
by Dan Neuharth, PhD
This link takes you to Dan's website with more great recent essays and links: check it out!

Silently Seduced, When Parents Make Children Partners
by Kenneth Adams
"Did you have a parent whose love for your felt more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing? Did you feel trapped in a "psychological marriage" with this parent? If so, you may be a victim of covert incest. Identification of this kind of incest is difficult, since covert incest victims often feel idealized and privileged, not violated and abused. In Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams, thorough illustrative case examples and perceptive insight, provides covert incest victims with a framework to understand what happened to them, how to begin the process of recovery."

Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
by Elan Golomb

Wounded Boys, Heroic Men: A Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse
by Dr. Daniel Sonkin
This volume has been called a "must read" for men coping with the effects of child physical, sexual and psychological abuse.

Intrusive Parenting: How Psychological Control Affects Children and Adolescents
edited by Brian K. Barber, brand-new in Feb 2002!
A compilation of the latest research on the effect of disordered parenting.

Out of the Darkened Room: When a Parent is Depressed: Protecting the Children and Strengthening the Family
by William Beardslee, professor of Child Psychiatry, Harvard Med School, due out: July 2002.
"Drawing from a comprehensive, long-term study of resilient children from depressed families, Out of the Darkened Room outlines a wide array of prevention strategies, from the family meeting to open and sustained communication on the subject of mental illness. Dr. Beardslee weaves together his own personal and clinical experiences with the emerging scientific research, the key theoretical concepts, and the steps families need to take in order to make sense of the illness."

The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics
by Lundy Bancroft & Jay G. Silverman, 2002.
Excellent new volume by two of the country's experts in abusive personalities.
From the review: "The Batterer as Parent takes the reader inside of homes affected by domestic violence, imparting an understanding of the atmosphere that battering men create for the children who live with them. Bancroft and Silverman show how partner abuse affects each relationship in a family, and explains how children¹s emotional recovery is inextricably linked to the healing and empowerment of their mothers. The authors cover the important but often-overlooked area of the post-separation parenting."

Children and Interparental Violence
by B. B. Robbie Rossman
This helpful book "focuses on childrens exposure to violence between their caretakers and the subsequent effects on child development. Review: "To this end, the authors review current theories, research, and treatment strategies of the 1990s, paying specific attention to families' ethnic backgrounds, parents' sexual orientation, and forensic and legal issues, all factors affecting the nature and severity of impact."

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life
by Victoria Secunda

Putting the Past Behind: Steps in Recovery and Foundational Core Issues
CD-ROM by Claudia Black, PhD.
This CD "speaks to anyone raised in a troubled family, offering the listener a framework for healing from growing up with chronic loss and pain."

Elder Rage, or: Take My Father ... Please!!
Order the very helpful and even very funny book by Jaqueline Marcell, read excerpts, table of contents, and link to other resources on this topic at Jaqueline's excellent site.

The Emotional Incest Syndrome
by Patricia Love

My Parent's Keeper: Adult Children of the Emotionally Disturbed
by Eva Marian Brown

The Narcissistic Family : Diagnosis and Treatment
by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman, Robert H. Pressman
Geared for therapists, but praised by a few NonBP readers as helping them finally understand why it's so hard to set boundaries.

The Mother I Carry : A Memoir of Healing from Emotional Abuse
by Louise M. Wisechild
Recommended highly by a daughter of a BP mother.

The Transcendent Child: Tales of Triumph Over the Past
by Lilian B. Rubin
Inspirational biographical interviews.

Longing For Dad: Father Loss and Its Impact
by Beth M. Erickson

Sorrow's Web: Overcoming the Legacy of Maternal Depression
by Anne Sheffield
I found this to be a very validating, clearly-written read.

Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics
by Robert J. Ackerman
Recommended by a number of non-Borderline women.

The Mad Family Gets Their Mads Out : Fifty Things Your Family Can Say and Do to Express Anger Constructively
by Lynne Namka, Nancy Sarama

Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress
by Mary Edwards Wertsch
"Gives the experience of a military childhood a weight many of us have never fully admitted, allowing our pain, finally, to be saluted alongside our pride." -- The Atlantic

Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children
by Connie Dawson, Jean Illsley Clarke

Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
by John C. Friel Ph.D., Linda D. Friel M.A.

Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse
by Jennifer J. Freyd
Dr. Freyd is not only an academic psychologist, she is a survivor of childhood abuse whose parents founded a high-profile but very controversial national organization (False Memory Syndrome Foundation) to fight what they saw as her "false allegations." From the book: "The more the victim is dependent on the perpetrator, the more power the perpetrator has over the victim in a trusted and intimate relationship, the more the crime is one of betrayal. This betrayal by a trusted caregiver is the core factor in determining amnesia for a trauma." A very academic read (you might try her articles instead), but great validation for children of Borderlines. Read a detailed review of the book.

Mad House: Growing Up in the Shadow of Mentally Ill Siblings
by Clea Simon, 1997

Perilous Rivalry : When Siblings Become Abusive
by Vernon R. Wiehe, Teresa Herring

Sibling Abuse : Hidden Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Trauma
by Vernon R. Wiehe

Sibling Abuse Trauma: Assessment and Intervention Strategies for Children, Families and Adults
By John V. Caffaro and Allison Conn-Caffaro

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Wish upon a Star: A Story for Children With a Parent Who Is Mentally Ill
by Pamela L. Laskin, et al
An illustrated children's book.

Something Is Wrong at My House: A Book About Parents Fighting
by Diane Davis
An illustrated children's book.

Elephant in the Living Room: The Children's Book
by Jill Hastings, Matian Typpo
Illustrated children's book.

How to Handle a Bully
by Susanna Palomares & Dianne Schilling, for grades 3-9.

Committee For Children: Social/Emotional Learning Book Recommendations
Truly excellent list of recommended books for children & young people. Worth a visit!

Understanding Mental Illness: For Teens Who Care About Someone With Mental Illness
by Julie T. Johnson (out of print, but Amazon.com offers used copies)

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Abusive Relationships Bookstore

The Safer Society Bookstore

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and How to Respond
by Patricia Evans. An excellent reference book. Ordering information for the book in the US, UK, Australia, and in Chinese, German and French

The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself
and
Encouragements for the Emotionally Abused Woman
by Beverly Engel
Check out her website at: beverlyengel.com
Also consider Beverly's newest book The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, which has chapters on BPD for both non-Borderline and BP spouses.

Invisible Wounds : A Self-Help Guide for Women in Destructive Relationships
by Kay Douglas

No Visible Wounds : Identifying Nonphysical Abuse of Women by Their Men
by Mary Susan Miller, PhD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: the invisible injury
2001 edition, by David Kinchin
"The only book in the world, we believe, written by a former PTSD sufferer for PTSD sufferers (and their families, carers and professionals)."
Read reviews and excerpts at this link, too.

The Abusive Personality
by Donald Dutton, PhD, 1998
from a reader's review ~ "The Abusive Personality is simply the best book written on domestic violence perpetrators and one of the best on the entire field of psychology. Dutton has integrated a variety of psychological perspectives (attachment theory, object relations, social learning theory, trauma reactions) into a compelling and well reasoned profile of the development and behavior of abusive men. Dutton was the Prosecution expert in the OJ Simpson trial. If you read this book, you'll wish he had taken the stand."

The Batterer: A Psychological Profile
by Donald Dutton, PhD
Based on Dutton's research on over 700 abusive men.

Man to Man : A Guide for Men in Abusive Relationships
by Edward W. Gondolf, David M. Russell

Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence
by Philip W. Cook.

Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence
by David Island

The Invisible Boy: Revisioning The Victimization of Male Children & Teens
An online book, available in its entirety, by Frederick Mathews, Ph.D., C.Psych.

Learning to Leave: A Woman's Guide
by Lynette Triere, Richard Peacock

Chain Chain Change: For Black Women in Abusive Relationships
by Evelyn C. White
Expanded edition, 1998

Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity
by Marie-France Hirigoyen, translated by Helen Marx
An recent international best-seller. Read a lengthy excerpt at this amazon.com link.

Emotional Abuse: The Trauma and the Treatment
by Marti Tamm Loring

The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships
by Donald G. Dutton
Dutton is a leading researcher on the connection between BPD and domestic abuse. See his online articles on my Relationships & Abuse page.

Wounded Boys, Heroic Men: A Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse
by Dr. Daniel Sonkin
This volume has been called a "must read" for men coping with the life-long effects of child physical, sexual and psychological abuse.

Dangerous Relationships: How to Stop Domestic Violence before it Stops You
by Noelle Nelson. Read an excerpt at this link.

When the Man You Love Treats You Like the Woman He Hates: How to Deal With Abusive Behavior from Those You Love
the Most (Your Pocket Therapist series)
by Dr David B. Hawkins, new in Feb 2001

Nasty People
by Jay Carter

Sibling Abuse Trauma: Assessment and Intervention Strategies for Children, Families and Adults
By John V. Caffaro and Allison Conn-Caffaro

But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships
by Jill Murray

But He Says He Loves Me: Girls Speak Out on Dating Abuse
by Nicole B. Sperekas

The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern
by Nina Brown

Traumatic Relationships and Serious Mental Disorders
by Jon G. Allen

Dangerous Marriage: Breaking the Cycle of Domestic Violence
by Linda McDill, S. Rutherford McDill
Advice for Christian women on leaving an abusive marriage.

Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing from Painful Spiritual Abuse
by Stephen Arterburn, Jack Felton
Includes The Toxic Faith Test

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Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men
by Daniel Sonkin

When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within
by Matthew McKay Ph.D., Peter E. Rogers, Ph.D., Judith McKay, R.N.

Walking Victims: Understanding and Treating Abused Women Who Repeat the Cycle
by Adele Mayer

Warming the Stone Child: Myths & Stories About Abandonment and the Unmothered Child
by Clarissa Pinkola Estes


Role of Sexual Abuse in the Etiology of Borderline Personality Disorder
by Mary C. Zanarini
Zanarini is one of the leading researchers of sexual abuse and the etiology of BPD.

The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse
by Wendy Maltz, Carol Arian
One of the few that talks about what to do about recovering your sex life NOW as an adult. Recommended for partners too.

Outgrowing the Pain Together: A Book for Spouses and Partners of Adults Abused as Children
by Eliana Gil
A clear, concise summary of the issues, with self-help exercises for couples.


Upcoming Release! Because I Hurt
by Dr. Jan Sutton and Deb Martinson
Sutton, the owner of SIARI: Self-Injury and Related Issues, and Deb Martinson, owner of Secret Shame: Self-Injury Information and Support, two of the hands-down best self-injury resource sites on the Web, have collaborated on a new book, due out in Autumn 2003.
"Directed at those who care for people who self-injure as well as self-injuring people themselves, it will address underlying causes of self-harm, effective therapeutic interventions, and issues for therapists in addition to practical concerns."

When the Body Is the Target: Self-Harm, Pain, and Traumatic Attachments
by Sharon Klayman Farber 2000
Somewhat academic, but a great read. Focuses on very promising treatment of attachment issues. Highly recommended. It's excerpted at this link.

The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-Inflicted Violence
by Tracy Alderman
One of the best of the self-injury self-help books, in my opinion. Doesn't talk down to the SIer and is great for the friend/family/SO too

Healing the Hurt Within : Understand and Relieve the Suffering Behind Self-Destructive Behaviour
by Jan Sutton
Came highly recommended by a self-injurer. Also check out Jan's excellent self-injury web site, SIARI

A Bright Red Scream : Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain
by Marilee Strong
Read a thorough review of this excellent book at this link.

Women Living with Self-Injury
by Jane Wegscheider Hyman
Discusses self-injury in the context of addiction. Interviews with 15 women.

Understanding Self-Injury: A Workbook for Adults
by by Kristy Trautmann, Robin Connors

Bodily Harm : The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers
by Karen Conterio, Wendy Lauder
On self-injury. In some ways just an extended advertisement for the SAFE Alternatives program in Chicago (also at this link), but it has a useful section for families and friends

Women Who Hurt Themselves: A Book of Hope and Understanding
by Dusty Miller
Not recommended for the self-injurer not in treatment.

Cutting
by Steven Levenkron
Good, but it's graphic: might trigger a BP self-injurer
Read a review of "Cutting"

Understanding Self-Harm and Addiction
by Catherine Pawlicki with Peter Kizilos

Self-Mutilation and Art Therapy : Violent Creation
by Diana Milia
This is a book "based on the view of self-mutilation as a form of healing, or attempted healing, through violent or self-destructive means. Milia addresses the harming/healing process in sacrificial rituals designed to heal society; in rites of self-purification, healing, and maturity; and in performance art."

Help for Hair Pullers : Understanding and Coping with Trichotillomania
by Nancy J. Keuthen Ph.D., Dan J. Stein M.D., and Gary A. Christenson M.D.

Don't Call It Love : Recovery from Sexual Addiction
by Patrick J. Carnes, PhD

In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior
by Patrick Carnes, David Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin, Patrick J.Carnes, Joseph Moriarity
Brand-new, good reviews in the press.

Gurze Eating Disorders Publications
"Specializing in Eating Disorders Publications and Education." A very well-done site with more than 200 Eating Disorder titles!


How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention
Brand-new title from Susan Rose Blauner, a BPD sufferer, 2002
From the review:
Shadow on My Soul: Overcoming Addiction to Suicide
by Paula M. Quinn
Autobiographical, but also helpful for Nons in understanding the "inside" of the suicidal or parasuicidal mind.


More Alike than Different: Treating Severely Dissociative Trauma Survivors
By Margo Rivera, Ph.D.
"Rivera makes a unique contribution to the treatment of lesbian and gay survivors of abuse. She theorizes that all sexuality is a social construct, subject to change over an individual's lifetime, a reality that is nowhere more clear than in highly dissociative individuals, who may identify themselves as alternately heterosexual female, gay male, lesbian and heterosexual male."

The Myth of Sanity: Divided Consciousness and the Promise of Awareness
by Martha Stout
A great and informative book providing lots of detail on the phenomenon of dissociation we all can recognize to some extent in ourselves.

Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living With Dissociative Identity Disorder
by Tracy Alderman

Betrayal Trauma : The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse
by Jennifer J. Freyd
Dr. Freyd is not only an academic psychologist, she is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse whose parents founded a high-profile but very controversial national organization (False Memory Syndrome Foundation) to fight what they saw as her "false allegations." From the book: The Òmore the victim is dependent on the perpetrator Ð the more power the perpetrator has over the victim in a trusted and intimate relationship Ð the more the crime is one of betrayal. This betrayal by a trusted caregiver is the core factor in determining amnesia for a traumaÓ. Read a detailed review of the book.

Shame And Guilt: The Masters of Disguise
by Jane Middelton-Moz

Becoming Attached : First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
by Robert Karen Ph.D.
Excellent introduction to attachment theory and what happens to kids later in life whose parental bond was disrupted

Attachment Disorganization
edited by Judith Solomon and Carol George

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The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment
by Babette Rothschild

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma : The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences
by Peter A. Levine

Heartwounds: The Impact of Unresolved Grief and Trauma on Relationships
Thoughtful, beautifully written and wise stuff by Tian Dayton.

Letting Go of Shame
by Patricia and Ronald Potter-Efron, 1996

The Loneliness Workbook: A Guide to Developing and Maintaining Lasting Connections
by Mary Ellen Copeland

I Can't Get over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors
by Aphrodite Matsakis
Includes self-work exercises.

The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships
by Beverly Engel. Brand-new, wonderful volume on this topic.

Freedom Through Forgiving: A Workbook for Everyone Who's Been Hurt by Someone
by Dwight Lee Wolter, Jane Noland
Good exercises and strategies for letting go of the anger and becoming more healthily self-protective.

Growing Beyond Emotional Pain: Action Plans for Healing
by John Preston, Psy.D.

Black Swan : The Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery
by Susan Anderson, Marcia Gerardi

Healing the Shame That Binds You
by John Bradshaw
HIGHLY recommended by zillions of readers!

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Over 30 Titles for Therapists on Strategies for Treating BPD Patients
From Jason Aronson Publishers

Guilford Publications: Books on Personality Psychology
A plethora of very interesting titles relating to personality theory, treatment of disorders, and topics such as deceit, manipulation, parenting, partnerships, et al.

A developmental model of borderline personality disorder: understanding variations in course and outcome
by Patricia Hoffman Judd and Thomas H McGlashan, 2003

If You Love Me, Don't Love Me: Undoing Reciprocal Double Binds and Other Methods of Change in Couple and Family Therapy
by Monty Elkaim, an acclaimed family systems psychiatrist.
Focuses on the therapist's role, but very useful for non-Borderlines as well.

New Hope for People with Borderline Personality Disorder: Your Friendly, Authoritative Guide to the Latest in Traditional and Complementary Solutions
by Nora Elizabeth Villagran, Neil R. Bockian. August, 2001.

Borderline Personality Disorder: The Latest Assessment and Treatment Strategies
by Melanie A. Dean Ph.D., March, 2001

Risking Connection®: A Training Curriculum for Working with Survivors of Childhood Abuse
By Karen W. Saakvitne, Ph.D., Sarah Gamble, Ph.D., Laurie Anne Pearlman, Ph.D., and Beth Tabor Lev, Ph.D., 2001
Available through the Sidran Traumatic Stress Foundation

Borderline Patients: Extending The Limits Of Treatability
by Otto Kernberg, Harold Koenigsberg, Michael Stone, Frank Yeomans, Ann Appelbaum and Diana Diamond, 2000
This new volume focuses on "Transference-Focused Psychotherapy", a BPD treatment modality developed by the well-respected researchers at the Personality Disorders Institute, New York Presbyterian Hospital. Read the table of contents here and a review of the first edition here.

Borderline Personality Disorder: A Clinical Guide
by John Gunderson, 2000
Read all about Gunderson's latest at this link.

Rebuilding Shattered Lives: The Responsible Treatment of Complex Post-Traumatic and Dissociative Disorders
by James A. Chu, 1998

Broken Structures : Severe Personality Disorders and Their Treatment
by Salman Akhtar, 2000

Disorders of Personality: The DSM-IV and Beyond
by Theodore Millon and Roger D. Davis, 1997
Millon is one of the fathers of the field of personality disorders, and an established authority.
This is a companion volume to the DSM-IV; read about it at amazon.com
It's very pricy, but the larger national bookstores carry it, or go to the closest med school library; settle into a comfy chair for a good read of the detailed BPD chapter.

Shorter Term Treatments for Borderline Personality Disorders
by John D. Preston
Preston's book takes as its premise the need for shorter-term solutions in an age of HMOs and recalcitrant patients

Countertransference and Psychotherapeutic Technique : Teaching Seminars on Psychotherapy of the Borderline Adult
by James F. Masterson

Borderline Personality Disorder
by John G. Gunderson, 1984
One of the premiere BPD researchers in America. Geared for clinicians but a good read nonetheless; has an entire chapter on the history of the term "Borderline." His newest title, an updated version, is above.

Waking the Tiger. Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences
by Peter A. Levine, Ann Frederick
The premise rests on the ability of the body to store and release traumatic memories: not a self-help book for BPs, but quite good at detailing Eastern methods of meditation, mindfulness, etc., to use in conjunction with therapy.

The Disordered Couple
by Jon Carlson (Editor), Len Sperry, Md., Ph.D. (Editor)